Just wanted to thank all my facebook friends for the well wishes, and “Happy Birthday” messages. I’m not going to tell you how old I am, (and you will not be able to find out as I use different years when registering on sites like facebook, linkedin, etc.) but I’m getting up there. Many of you have asked how I’m doing so I’m posting this “state of the union” as pertains to my current situation.
As I review the events that have transpired since my last birthday, I can summarize with the following;
At the end of 2009 I had been at the same job for more than 3 years, was making over 80K and was pretty comfortable with my lifestyle. I had a side business that was bringing in an additional 20-30K and it was growing slowly without any real input on my behalf. I had survived a near fatal car crash a few years prior, and although I still had some lingering debt from my hospital stay, I was in pretty good shape financially. My wife had brought a bundle of energy into the world three years earlier, and I was thoroughly enjoying being a father, and watching my prodigy grow and experience all the joys of childhood. My life was going nowhere but up, and for x-mas 2009 I bought a beautiful V-Star Classic motorcycle with the intention of making new friends, riding, and living out my mid-life crisis as a weekend warrior. Then 2010 rolled around and my entire life flipped upside down.
2010 was a banner year for me and my family. It started with the death of my grandmother. While this was not completely unexpected, as her health had been declining quite a bit over the last few years, it was a lot harder to deal with than I expected. She wasn’t just my grandmother, but a link to my grandfather through the stories she would tell whenever I visited with her. With her gone, I felt like I had actually lost my grandfather again as well.
Two days after I returned from her funeral, I was laid off from my job. They say that losing your job is one of the most stressful things a person can go through, and my experience definitely fit the bill. It wasn’t so much the loss of the role, but rather the way it was executed. I had given a great deal of my personal time and energy to this company and its leaders. My reward for doing this was to be let go with no warning and little severance package. I watched as many of the leaders of that company, walked away with “secure futures”, with no concern about the people that had made the company great. It was the worse example of what can happen in a capitalist society, where everyone is only looking out for themselves.
I tried to recover quickly, but made the mistake of jumping into the first job I could find that would provide me the same pay rate without thoroughly researching the company. I soon found myself asked to compromise my ethics by giving false recommendations to their clients and potential clients. When I refused to do this, they manufactured “customer complaints” and terminated me.
Within two weeks of this happening, I had to put our dog of over 9 years to sleep. My wife brought the dog with her into our relationship, and I had grown to love it as time went by. Back when I owned the shop, the dog actually stayed with me rather than being left at home. I had become the dogs care giver in many ways, as I took over the responsibility of grooming it and maintaining its health. It broke my heart when I had to put her down. To lessen the impact on my wife and child, I buried her at my friend’s house out in the country where he had recently laid his own dog to rest. My life was beginning to sound like a country western song…
I tried to rebound by getting a new business up and running, but I didn’t have the seed money I needed so before long I had to make some very hard decisions.
In order to keep from going into bankruptcy court my wife and I put our house up for rent and relocated to Austin to live with her parents. I can’t begin to tell you how hard that was for me to do. I had put a lot of work into that house, and now I would be walking away from it, most likely never to return.
To top it all off, I had been the primary bread winner in our family for the last 9 years, and before that I had always found a way through tough times without relying on others to get by. Granted, we were moving in a positive direction as my wife was to start a new opportunity working for her step mother, but in order for that to happen I would have to change roles, and we all know that is not an easy thing for a “leader” like me.
After getting everything with the renters squared away, and moving the entire contents of our house into a rental storage unit, I started the process of looking for gainful employment. I assumed that it would be easy to land on my feet, but found that job after job I was turned away because I was “over-qualified”. (In capitalist terms, that means they don’t want to pay you what you were making before, but know that if they hire you it is highly likely that when the economy turns you will move on to a better paying job.) Several times I came close to landing great high paying jobs, but was turned down after the third interview. Each time it put a dent in my confidence, and made me wonder if it was something I was doing wrong. How could someone like me, a clean cut white boy, with three college degrees, and over 40 technical certifications NOT land a job in over 8 months!?!? It was baffling.
Many people have asked me how come I’m not depressed, but the key to staying positive is all just a matter of perspective. As I write in my book, “A New Reality; Ten Steps to Transforming Your Life!” one only has to look around to find others with problems that make yours look small. For example: I have a friend in the hospital fighting for his life. He went into a diabetic coma due to an infection, and had to have his leg removed above the knee. He is still struggling after the surgery, due to sickness, and has had to be put on breathing machines just to survive. It is uncertain if he will make it over the next few months. One of my relatives by marriage is struggling to survive breast cancer at the young age of 50. She is currently undergoing chemotherapy, with no promises that it will ever go into remission. I could go on, but I think you get the message. As bad as this past year has been, I wouldn’t want to trade places with either of them.
So… How am I doing? At the time of this writing, I am back on the upswing. I landed a contract job with Dell. My wife is finally starting to make some money in her new role. I was able to finish and publish my book. I have made a ton of new friends, and have had some experiences that have really opened my eyes as to the current unemployment situation in the US. (I will be writing more about this in another post.) I am currently fielding new opportunities, and I’m also looking forward to taking some vacation time in North Carolina (my old stomping grounds), and starting my second book (an autobiography).
A wise man once said, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters”. For me that means finding the good in whatever life throws my direction. I consider myself privileged to have friends like you to share it with.
